Severus Snape and the Life he Never Wanted
by Zoe Talone
Summary: This story is an Alternate Universe following the books but based on RP's a friend I did. Severus Snape has made many choices in his life he is not proud of. Now, with a second war on the horizon, a shadow from his past reenters his life.
1. Night Terrors

The graveyard had an eerie fog that twisted and swirled over the grave markers where twenty-seven others stood clad in black with masks. They stood in a semi circle, tightly, in case any of the pledges decided to flee.

"Kneel, Severus." Drawled the thick, slithering, voice of the Dark lord. He knelt near the body of Conner Velts and fellow seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He did not know the boy well in fact he came from another house. "Hold out your left arm Severus." Lucius Malfoy, an older man then Severus, by several years and also an alum from Hogwarts grabbed his wrist and pulled his sleeve up and turning the forearm upwards. The Dark Lord left his chair and the way he smiled left Severus shivering. He refused to end up like Velts so he stayed where he was.

Severus do you desire to have a family that will always have your back, will avenge all the wrongs done to you, and all the power to do anything you want?" The Dark Lord sneered as pulled his wand and placed the tip on his forearm.

"Yes, my Lord." Severus responded clearly but did not look up to meet his eyes.

"Severus do you swear on your life to serve me to no end even unto death, to be forthcoming with any information you might come upon, and come to the aide of your fellow Death Eaters?"

"I swear my Lord." Severus responded only this time he looked the Dark Lord straight in the eyes. He Dark Lord's sneer grew wider as he whispered something Severus had never heard, though he was certain it was Protean Charm. He eyes grew wide and looked at his forearm as black tattoo emerges on his arm. The outline of a skull formed first, with the mouth open a snake the poured out of the mouth twisted around itself to create a figure eight the head swung low to end the tattoo and after a brief moment to pain the jet back tattoo faded to grey. He looked up and the Dark Lord one last time…

"I expect much of you, Severus Snape, you will attain a position at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry." He sneered twisted into smile and the all the Death Eaters began to laugh in Unison.


	2. Daily Routine

He woke drenched in sweat unsure of where he was at first. Looking around the pitch black room he realized he was in his chamber bed. He sighed as he sat up and swung his legs down the cold stone floor and shivered. Reaching to his bedside table he picked up his wand muttering _"lumos."_ A small white ball of light erupted from the tip of wand and the man looked at his pocket watch it 5:45 am. "I might as well start the day then." With that the man, got up dropping the pocket watch back on the bedside table he grabbed the clothes he had left folded at the end of the bed and towel headed to the bathroom for a shower.

Twenty minutes later Severus found himself sitting at staff table drinking coffee that match the color of his eyes. Conveniently, he had found the "The Daily Prophet" waiting for him so that he could avoid unnecessary conversation with his colleges. The silence was broken however, when Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, entered the Great Hall a few minutes later.

His eyes twinkling and cheeks rosy from how much he was smiling reminded him of the Cheshire cat from the Lewis Carrol novel _"Alice in Wonderland." _Wondering what the old coot had up his hat he let the newspaper fall enough to watch the Headmaster but still make it look as if he were reading the paper.

Clearing his throat Dumbledore began to speak, "Welcome Staff to another magical year at Hogwarts! We will be having a staff meeting this afternoon to introduce the two new Defense against the Dark Arts Teachers I expect each and every one of you will be in the staff room at 3 pm exactly and with your first months lesson plans ready to turn in!" with that he gave not a single teacher a chance to speak before leaving the Great Hall.

Severus rolled his eyes and then stared as his coffee mug wishing he had time for another cup. Instead he got up folded the paper and stuck it under his arm and began his decent back into the dungeons. Not far through the Great Hall door Severus hit something and heard a small squeak that seemed familiar to him. Looking down at the floor to see who had been dumb enough to run into him this early in the morning his eyes went wide.


	3. Staff Meetings and Other Boring things

"I do not have time for this Lilian" Severus growled regaining his composure and tossing his black greasy locks back with a swish of his head. Then he grabbed the edge of his robes pulling them to him as he walked past her without another word or a hand to help her up.

"Severus, wait," Lily spoke softly enough to make him stop walking to hear her as she scrambled to get up, "I am not here to ask questions, or to search you. The Headmaster asked me here." She squared her shoulders to make herself look taller and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she stared at his back. He did not make a move.

Without turning to face her he spoke his calculated words slowly and very low so they could not be missed nor heard by anyone passing within earshot. As this was the day before term started there were no students in the corridors. "There is never a good time to be in the company of a noisy Auror Miss Shaney." He drawled the last part as he were reprimanding a student then continued down to the dungeons in the hope that this was the last time that he would have to deal with her for the rest of his life.

Once back in his comfort of his dungeon office he walked over his file cabinet and pulled out the green file marked "September 1 – November 15 Year 1- Year 7" and laid it on his desk. He walked over to the mantle above the unlit fireplace and reached for his bottle of Firewhiskey but quickly realized it was only eight in the morning. Turning around he then sat at this desk, pulling out his wand he refilled his tea cup with hot water and pulled a tea bag out from the top drawn of his desk. He then opened his file pulled out his red pen and began making up his lesson plans as he riffled through the notes after each lesson using what had worked and hat had not. Contrary to what others might believe he really did take his teaching job seriously. Who else was going to teach these mutton heads the art of brewing potions? It was better for them to know correctly how to brew potions then to kill half the wizarding population with one drop too much wolfs bane in a sleeping potion. After working for several hours he realized that he completely missed lunch as smelled stew on the corner of his desk. Seeing he only had four lessons to annotate he decided that he could break long enough to eat.

Once done with the stew he placed the tray back on the corner of his desk and it vanished as it had appeared leaving only the hints of its aroma and full stomach behind. He then looked at the clock it was already 2:15 he had 40 minutes to finish his last for lesson plans. He quickly looked over the last ones to find the worst of the four. He finally settled on pulling out the second one. This lesson had troubled him it was the only time he had every stopped in the middle of teaching. Not one student made it thirty minutes into brewing this potion. He read slowly over the ingredients to try to figure out why it did not work. He, himself, had brewed it once and it worked for him. The idea was to fortify ones ability to carry large amounts of weight for a short burst of time.

Start by heating a standard pewter caldron on medium heat then add four grams of standard potions ingredient. (5 minutes) Mix in 237 milliliters of cold water slowly so the standard ingredient does not clump up but dissolves completely. Add all the giant toe nails one at a time, plus 4 of the 11 dabs of Octopus powder stirring clockwise 17 times. Let simmer for 10 minutes on a low heat.

While the potion is simmering cut one branch of Aconite up into even sections and once it is done simmering turn back up to medium heat then add the Aconite slowly to the potion watch the temperature of the cauldron it may boil over at this point. Once done add 5 more dabs of octopus powder. Stir counter clockwise 5 times and let it rest 3 minutes.

Next turn the temperature to high and add both Hungarian Horntail scales and the 4 hairs from the Flying Seahorse. Add in the remaining 2 octopus powder dabs, two bunches of Aconite. Let it come to a rolling boil for 7 minutes.

Stirring for 8 minute counter Clockwise as it boils the color should turn a deep red then fade to a bone white. Let it stand 5 minutes to cool before bottling it up.

Finally it hit him just three minutes before he had to go meet with Albus. Sighing he picked up his pen and realized that he might just get away with fixing it at the meeting. He hurried he could tell the Headmaster what he was going to do. He packed up his lessons and headed to the staff room and found Albus already eating candy left by the house elves he even found bits of black licorice and made a mental note to thank Squishes again she really was not that bad for a house elf.

"Headmaster I am a few lessons short and this one in particular is bothersome. I think I may have fixed the problem but I need to brew it tonight to be sure." Severus said offering him the potion instructions.

The Headmaster popped another lemon drop into his mouth took the folder from Severus looking over the potion he asked, "What do you feel is the correction needed here?"

Severus replied, 'I believe, Headmaster, that the Aconite is the problem. In the third set of instructions there are two bunches of Aconite added and it looks to be like they are whole. Adding that much at one time will cause the cauldrons to melt, boil over, and even explode." Severus said with confidence.

"Indeed, you are correct Severus." Albus said smiling, "Yet another potion for you add your name too. You have until the end of the meeting to finish your lesson plan and then you may owl the publisher. Take your seat." With that Albus strode over to his seat and sat down popping another lemon drop in his mouth he looked at the clock above the fireplace it was one minute to three.

Right at three o'clock Lilian Shaney glided into the room. Her long brunette hair caught in the firelight and red undertones shone through. Her eyes twinkling she set down between Sybil Trelawney and Madam Irma Pince and they immediately embraced her squealing like school girls as they greeted her back into castle walls.

He never really like Sybil and her while hair and oversized glasses or Irma much. Irma more so she always reminded him a bird ready to strike and was way to protective of books. He knew that she hated him for writing his books and dog earring the pages as he edited them. Though seeing her act this way unnerved him she was coldhearted not a giggly school girl. It really unnerved him.

Albus then stood up and silenced the room with nothing more than his presence and began speaking. "There are a few change this school year . The first is right in front of you, "He gestured toward Lilian. She smiled as Albus mentioned her all the while he also was smiling an odd smile he had never seen on Albus. Something was up.

"Lilian Shaney as you all well know is an Auror for the Ministry of Magic since she graduated from here in the class of 1978 with our own Potions Master Severus Snape. She will be assuming the positions of the Defense Against the dark arts teacher along with Alastor Moody. I feel that this is a move that will benefit both Hogwarts and the students. Having two Aurors will make the Ministry happy, keep the school safer and give the students practical application in their studies.

Now the big announce this year the Ministry will also be on campus and we have been choose to host the 435th Tri-wizard Tournament. I feel that it is best to make it so that only students that are 17 may enter. Does anyone object to this age restriction?" Albus looked around the room to find everyone murmuring "Yes," and "That sounds fine, Headmaster." from everyone in the room.

"Very well then we shall keep the age restriction at 17 years of age. As well you should all know that Madame Olympe Maxime and Academy of Magic as well as headmaster Igor Karkaroff and Durmstang Institute will also be joining us for the duration of the 1994-1995 school year. Both schools will be participating in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. During the Christmas break I implore you to stay here as we will be having the traditional Yule Ball. I want you all to attend.

Everyone in the room was suddenly abuzz with the news. Severus rolled his eyes it was like being a student instead of teacher at Hogwarts. For a brief moment he wondered why he was still here.

"Other than That Alastor will be arriving shortly and we should begin talking about the changes to your lesson plans does everyone have their lesson plans ready?" Albus procured and basket from thin air using his wand. He set the basket on the small table near the chair he was sitting in before the meeting started.

Severus sighed and stood up thinking, "This is as good as it's going to get." He got in line behind Madame Hooch who promptly turned to him and began speaking in that squirrely high pitched voice that grated on his nerves.

"It will be wonderful for you to have someone around your own age to talk to will it? I recall that you and both Lily's were often around each other through most of school."

Once back in his comfort of his dungeon office he walked over his file cabinet and pulled out the green file marked "September 1 – November 15 Year 1- Year 7" and laid it on his desk. He walked over to the mantle above the unlit fireplace and reached for his bottle of Firewhiskey but quickly realized it was only eight in the morning. Turning around he then sat at this desk, pulling out his wand he refilled his tea cup with hot water and pulled a tea bag out from the top drawn of his desk. He then opened his file pulled out his red pen and began marking up his lesson plans as he riffled through the notes he took after each lesson changing them to what had worked and had not. Contrary to what others might believe he really did take his teaching job seriously. Who else was going to teach these mutton heads the art of brewing potions? It was better for them to know correctly how to brew potions then to kill half the wizarding population with one drop to much wolf bane in a sleeping potion.

After working for several hours he realized that he completely missed lunch as smelled stew on the corner of his desk. Seeing he only had four lessons left to annotate, he decided that he could break long enough to eat.

When he had finished with the stew he placed the tray back on the corner of his desk and it vanished as it had appeared leaving only the hints of its aroma and full stomach behind. He then looked at the clock it was already 2:15 he had forty minutes to finish his last for lesson plans. He quickly looked over the last ones to find the worst of the four. He finally settled on pulling out the second one. This lesson had troubled him it was the only time he had every stopped in the middle of teaching. Not one student made it thirty minutes into brewing this potion. He read slowly over the ingredients to try and figure out why it did not work. He, himself, had brewed it once and it worked for him. The idea was to fortify ones ability to carry large amounts of weight for a short burst of time.

Strength Potion

Prep Time: 5 minutes/ Cooking time: 40 minutes/ Rest time: 5 minutes

11 dabs of Octopus powder

10 Toe Nails of a Giant

3 bunches of Aconite

4 Hairs from the Flying Seahorse

2 Hungarian Horntail scales

2 Beaks of Red Tailed Hawk

Start by heating a standard pewter caldron on medium heat then add 4 grams of standard potions ingredient. (5 minutes) Mix in 237 milliliters of cold water slowly so the standard ingredient does not clump up but dissolves completely. Add _all _the giant toe nails one at a time, plus 4 of the 11 dabs of Octopus powder stirring clockwise 17 times. Let simmer for 10 minutes on a low heat.

While the potion is simmering cut one branch of Aconite up into even sections and once it is done simmering turn back up to medium heat then add the Aconite slowly to the potion watch the temperature of the cauldron it may boil over at this point. Once done add 5 more dabs of octopus powder. Stir counter clockwise 5 times and let it rest 3 minutes.

Next turn the temperature to high and add both Hungarian Horntail scales and the 4 hairs from the Flying Seahorse. Add in the remaining 2 octopus powder dabs, two bunches of Aconite. Let it come to a rolling boil for 7 minutes.

Stirring for 8 minutes counter Clockwise as it boils the color should turn a deep red then fade to a bone white. Let it stand 5 minutes to cool before bottling it up.

Finally it hit him just three minutes before he had to go meet with Albus. Sighing he picked up his pen and realized that he might just get away with fixing it at the meeting. If he hurried he could tell the Headmaster what he going to do. He packed up his lessons and headed up to the staff room and found Albus already eating candy left by the house elves he even found bits of black licorice and made a mental note to thank Squishes again she really was not that bad for a house elf.

"Headmaster I am a few lessons short and this one in particular is bothersome. I think I may have fixed the problem but I need to brew it tonight to be sure." Severus said offering him the potion instructions.

The Headmaster popped another lemon drop into his mouth took the folder from Severus looking over the potion he asked, "What do you feel is the correction needed here?"

Severus replied, 'I believe, Headmaster, that the Aconite is the problem. In the third set of instructions there are two bunches of Aconite added and it looks to be like they are whole. Adding that much at one time will cause the cauldrons to melt, boil over, and even explode." Severus said with confidence.

"Indeed, you are correct Severus." Albus said smiling, "Yet another potion for you to add your name too. You have until the end of the meeting to finish your lesson plan and then you may owl the publisher. Take your seat." With that Albus strode over to his seat and sat down popping another lemon drop in his mouth he looked at the clock above the fireplace it was one minute to three.

Right at three o'clock Lilian Shaney glided into the room. Her long brunette hair caught in the firelight and red undertones shone through. Her eyes twinkling she set down between Sybil Trelawney and Madam Irma Pince and they immediately embraced her squealing like school girls as they greeted her back into castle walls.

He never really like Sybil, her wild hair, and oversized glasses or Irma much. Irma more so she always reminded him a bird ready to strike and was way to protective of books. He knew that she hated him for writing his books and dog earring the pages as he edited them. Though seeing her act this way unnerved him she was coldhearted not a giggly school girl. It really unnerved him.

Albus then stood up and silenced the room with nothing more than his presence and began speaking. "There a few changes this school year . The first is right in front of you, "He gestured toward Lilian. She smiled as Albus mentioned her all the while he also was smiling an odd smile he had never seen on Albus. Something was up.

"Lilian Shaney as you all well know is an Auror for the Ministry of Magic since she graduated from here in the class of 1978 with our own Potions Master Severus Snape. She will be assuming the positions of the Defense Against the dark arts teacher along with Alastor Moody. I feel that this is a move that will benefit both Hogwarts and the students. Having two Aurors will make the Ministry happy, keep the school safer and give the students practical application in their studies.

Now for the big announce this year the Ministry will also be on campus and we have been choose to host the 435th Tri-wizard Tournament. I feel that it is best to make it so that only students that are 17 may enter. Does anyone object to this age restriction?" Albus looked around the room to find everyone murmuring "Yes," and "That sounds fine, Headmaster." from everyone in the room.

"Very well then we shall keep the age restriction at 17 years of age. As well you should all know that Madame Olympe Maxime and Academy of Magic as well as headmaster Igor Karkaroff and Durmstang Institute will also be joining us for the duration of the 1994-1995 school year. Both schools will be participating in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. During the Christmas break I implore you to stay here as we will be having the traditional Yule Ball. I want you all to attend. Formal attire will be required and we will have a good night." Albus finished with a smile.

Everyone in the room was suddenly abuzz with the news. Severus rolled his eyes it was like being a student instead of teacher at Hogwarts. For a brief moment he wondered why he was still sitting here.

"Other than That Alastor will be arriving shortly and we should begin talking about the changes to your lesson plans does everyone have their lesson plans ready?" Albus procured and basket from thin air using his wand. He set the basket on the small table near the chair he was sitting in before the meeting started. "It is four O'clock now and I will be calling you each into my office one at a time to discuss the changes you are proposing. I must have everything to the ministry by Friday morning. So you will all have plenty of time to make last minute changes and add or take out lessons. I will take all of this to my office and start seeing you around 4:30 this afternoon Dinner will be at seven pm"

Severus sighed and stood up thinking, "this is as good as it's going to get, tonight." He got in line behind Madame Hooch who promptly turned to him and began speaking in that squirrely high pitched voice that grated on his nerves."It will be wonderful for you to have someone around your own age to talk to won't it? I recall that you and both Lily's were often around one another through most of school." She finished just as perky as when she started.

"I care not for Lilian Shaney she is noisy know-it-all. I did not care for her while in school I do not care for her now." He stole a glance at her talking to the other teachers and was glad it was his turn to turn-in his lessons. With a quick nod to Albus he exited the room and went straight to his dungeon chambers. Once inside he poured a glass of Firewhiskey. In between drinks he absent mindedly rubbed his left forearm. Today is stung a constant reminder of his bad judgments from so long ago. Grabbing his glass he went into the potions classroom and slowly checked that all the ingredients that were needed for the next few weeks were there.

This made Severus scowl all the more. Who did she think she was bringing Lily into this? He precious Lily Evens never Potter to him. Still to this day he believed it was his fault that she was killed. If only Potter had never married her she would be his today. He paced around the classroom trying to calm himself down.

About 45 minutes later Fawkes appeared in classroom and quietly called him. He put the containers he was holding in his hand back on the shelf and marked the spot he was working at. "He's ready I take it?" He walked over to pet the magnificently colored bird. Fawkes called again and then took off. Severus followed and made his way up to the Headmaster's office. When reached the gargoyle he said, "Lemon Drop." The gargoyle leapt out of the way and he started up the spiral stairs he passed Hagrid on the way up who seemed cheery as always.

"Af'rnoon Profess'r Snape." Hagrid said as he made his way down the stairs. Severus nodded in return on his ascent up the staircase. Once inside he strolled to the giant overstuffed wing-backed chair and waited for Albus to seat him.

"Severus you are always wonderful at being timely. I dare say that the additions you have made to potions this year will indeed keep the students on their toes. Why did you designe several lessons extra for your N.E.W.T.'s class you already cover all the standards mandated by the Departments of Improper Use of Magic Office. Mafalda Hopkirk will want to know your reasoning pushing the students so hard." The headmaster finished sitting back in his chair waiting for Severus to defend his additions to the curriculum.

"Headmaster, to truly hold a full set of N.E.W.T's one must truly able to identify what properties in an ingredient will do. There is not "let's add this and see if it explodes" granted in the real world. Headmaster, it may have been in the beginning but now we have thousands of years education behind us and we do not need to feel in the dark to figure out how potions work we just need to know."

"Very well Severus I will consent to add the new lessons into your N.E.W.T's program." Albus Smiled proudly. "Once again this is why you are my Potions Master you are doing and fantastic job." He finished by handing Severus back his lesson folder, " make sure you have this copied and in a format to be owled to Miss Hopkirk by Friday morning at seven in the morning. Is there anything else you need Severus?" Albus asked already know the answer.

"Headmaster each year you tell me I will get the Defense Against the Dark Arts position and yet each year you hand it to some babbling buffoon and this year Aurors? You know that Shaney rode me through the last trail and tried to have me put in Azkaban for life. Why is she here?" Severus went quiet after his outburst. He had not meant it to come out that way Albus was dear friend, and he was indebted to him for that matter. If it hadn't been for him he would be sitting in Azkaban and not in this drafty old castle with house elves to feed him and do his laundry daily.

"Your time will come when I think you ready. Now off with you Minerva will be in a moment." He nodded to Fawkes who took off in song.

"As you wish Headmaster." Severus took his folder in both hands and slowly made his way back the dungeons he managed to not see anyone on his way down. It was as he wanted.

Fortify Carry Weight

Creep Cluster, Giant's Toe, Hawk Beak, River Betty, Scaly Pholiota, Wisp Wrappings


End file.
